I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
