Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
