The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
