I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
