I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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