just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
