i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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