never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
