Buhtt sex?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
