just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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