): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
