wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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