...so i touched it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
