If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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