are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
