My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
