That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
