She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
