that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
