You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize