yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
