I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How external is "for external use only"?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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