apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
