We got so high we made milksteak
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
