I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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