He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
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Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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