Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
