i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize