you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
