when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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