you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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