Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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