Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
