Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
