i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
