I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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