Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
