please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
