i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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