gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
