fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize