His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
