He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
