Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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