Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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