Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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