we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
