wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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