oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
