you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
