Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this

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  (810): I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room (810): Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this http://tfl.nu/ax0d
  Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (1650)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..

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  (641): i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door.. http://tfl.nu/c547
  Replies (20) Good night (740) Bad night (4451)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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  (757): If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up... http://tfl.nu/b9ou
  Replies (55) Good night (6270) Bad night (1079)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how can getting a pizza be this hard?

  (817): View more from Texas

  when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible

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  (504): how can getting a pizza be this hard? (817): when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible http://tfl.nu/zgw8
  Replies (12) Good night (5255) Bad night (1112)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.

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  (519): So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok. http://tfl.nu/j1n1
  Replies (7) Good night (5371) Bad night (1008)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...

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  (804): Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday... http://tfl.nu/fzwu
  Replies (36) Good night (8121) Bad night (1533)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?

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  (919): At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex? http://tfl.nu/35cd
  Replies (27) Good night (1117) Bad night (4906)
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  (631): View more from New York

  This beer is not sobering me up at all

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  (631): This beer is not sobering me up at all http://tfl.nu/2fz8
  Replies (13) Good night (7918) Bad night (1353)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."

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  (815): Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys." http://tfl.nu/ykbn
  Replies (18) Good night (662) Bad night (3146)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Clearly, you already have. Both of them.

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  (770): I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one. (404): Clearly, you already have. Both of them. http://tfl.nu/iwis
  Replies (6) Good night (1213) Bad night (514)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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  (425): Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me http://tfl.nu/wcm8
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (342)
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  (323): View more from California

  My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.

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  (323): My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job. http://tfl.nu/hsg6
  Replies (0) Good night (677) Bad night (263)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore

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  (740): I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore http://tfl.nu/8kqe
  Replies (11) Good night (719) Bad night (295)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.

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  (917): Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out. http://tfl.nu/jrjf
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (243)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine

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  (303): you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine http://tfl.nu/mjql
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (135)

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