Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.

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  (574): Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter. http://tfl.nu/0enu
  Replies (19) Good night (3590) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me if I "almost moaned"

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  (336): He asked me if I "almost moaned" http://tfl.nu/8ba0
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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  (732): so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house http://tfl.nu/3ust
  Replies (18) Good night (531) Bad night (3848) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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  (410): Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA! http://tfl.nu/7pku
  Replies (348) Good night (43793) Bad night (4562) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face

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  (503): I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face http://tfl.nu/4e48
  Replies (38) Good night (4313) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.

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  (502): guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct. http://tfl.nu/g5ut
  Replies (48) Good night (5414) Bad night (2098) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

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  (518): it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while.... http://tfl.nu/r6bs
  Replies (26) Good night (5424) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!

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  (901): Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train! http://tfl.nu/ural
  Replies (6) Good night (1878) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.

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  (312): You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer. http://tfl.nu/l87h
  Replies (10) Good night (8132) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.

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  (631): Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you. http://tfl.nu/saac
  Replies (6) Good night (3571) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar

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  (513): Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar http://tfl.nu/rpu6
  Replies (7) Good night (3600) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.

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  (859): I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it. http://tfl.nu/s0lk
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  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit

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  (514): He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit http://tfl.nu/ybl7
  Replies (4) Good night (356) Bad night (802)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.

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  (310): I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there. http://tfl.nu/77nt
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (178) Order T-Shirt

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