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Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
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