he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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