Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
