i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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