Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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