it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
