Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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