Me too!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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