Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
