Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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